And All Other Things

I am childless, but I love kids.

I have worked with them since I can remember.

I plan to have plenty when I’m married.

In the meantime, I claim the children of my friends.

Here is a video featuring some of my kids.

Please keep in mind that this really has absolutely nothing to do with Obama. Even though his name is mentioned, this post is in no way used to advance his name or cause or whatever. He seems like a stellar guy in real life. He may or may not be the change that the world needs. Right now, I do not care about that. Frankly, politics are not my thing. So, before people write me about what they think of Obama, please reread this last paragraph. This is not about him.

There.

Enjoy.

(Sorry it is not the clearest. Mobile videos will do that. But I think it is enjoyable nonetheless.)

My Kids from Ruthie O. Unaegbu on Vimeo.

Kids are awesome!

Apparently my 11 year old cousin does.

I think it is only appropriate to start this series at the beginning. To start it with the reason I was able to go to Nigeria for the first time in my 27 years of life. Ideally, my whole family would have gone, but lack of finances did not allow it to be so. Therefore, exactly half of my family was able to go: My dad, my sister and me.

Visiting family, was obviously a major reason for our trip. However, it was not the only reason. See, my dad is a pastor and he was invited to preach at a conference in one of the biggest churches in Nigeria: The Redeemed Evangelical Mission (TREM). This conference ran from November 17th-23rd and featured special guests from all over the Africa and the world. The theme of the conference was “A God Said…” For my first week in Nigeria, I went to church basically all day every day. And athough I suffered from jetlag, it was an enjoyable experience. God was evident everywhere.

The other reason we went to Nigeria was for my Dad’s charity: REST International Ministries. The last time my dad traveled to Nigeria was in 2006. While he was there, he visited various schools and was amazed at their conditions. One such school was Ozar Secondary School in Abia State. This is a government school and many government schools are in deplorable states. Living in Canada, it is so obvious that we take school for granted. We expect to have doors on our buildings. They do not. We expect to have desks to sit in and equipment to use. They are thankful if they do. We expect to use a functioning bathroom at least once per day. They do not even have a functioning bathroom on the premises. This is what my dad saw in 2006.

So he took it upon himself to help make a difference. Upon returning to Canada, he started fundraising for desks. My Dad ended up raising enough money to make 100 three-seater desks for the school (there are 400 students) and 8 desks for the principal and teachers.

My dad is a humble man. He did not think that what he did was a big deal. He thought that he would just go to the school and hand over the desks. Many had to convince him that his act of philanthropy was, in fact, a big deal. It turned out that there was a whole big ceremony.

They welcomed him with singing:

They welcomed him with dancing.

They even presented him with a chief’s hat and outfit. Government officials were also invited, although I do not remember who they were.

The students and the administrators were so thankful. It was a very amazing and humbling experience. It just puts into perspective what we take for granted here every day. These kids were happy to get desks. Can you imagine?

So, that is the back-story explaining why I went to Nigeria.

Stay tuned for more!

Sometimes I am an impatient person.

Ok, let me rephrase that: I am sometimes impatient when it comes to getting something I want.

I am patient when it comes to everything else, including taking care of kids. I get that from my dad.

Anyway, in this post, I am talking about owning a house and having children.

My brother is 15 months younger than I and has just bought his first house.

I am jealous.

Yes, I know, I went to school longer. I have not been settled. I have no job. I have NO money. Blah blah blah… I know all that stuff. It still does not stop me from being extremely jealous. I love houses. I don’t mind going out with my dad to open houses, even with no chance of buying (although my dad and mom are looking into purchasing. They believe they have outgrown our current home and so do I… believe they have…but that’s another story).

My brother’s house has six bedrooms. It’s two years old. Here is a picture. I am jealous…oh and proud:

As for the kids part, I keep torturing myself by reading some many adoption blogs. Grace is leaving to pick up her child. She now has two. Carlos and Heather have three children. And I just found this stunning family.

I love kids. I also get that from my dad.

When people ask me how many children I want, I say 12. Some ask me to repeat, stunned, sure they misheard. Others laugh in disbelief. Few accept without reaction. But that’s it. 12. Actually the number increased since the beginning of July, but then I decided on another country I wanted to adopt from. You want to witness my family structure? Ok. Here goes (in no particular order):

• 4 children by personal pregnancy
• Nigeria
• Ethiopia
• Philippines
• Korea
• India
• Guatemala
• Kazakhstan
• Haiti

Now, the thing is, that is my plan today, but it might change. Because I also plan to foster children and will most likely do that before I begin adopting. Therefore, things might happen to lead me to adopt from the foster system, which I am open to. One family that I love to read about is this family because they show me it can be done.

So, I would not mind having a house and kids today. Perhaps, not the full 12 while I am single, but I would not be adverse to fostering now. Actually, I am looking into becoming certified or whatever the term is, so that I can foster once I gain employment and find another place to live. It will happen, I know. But the impatient part of me wants it to happen now. The realistic part of me knows I have to wait. *sigh*

Now, to find a hot Christian man who will not be scared off. Hmmm….

Well, I just woke up from a nightmare and now I can’t sleep. So I decided that it was a fantastic opportunity to blog. So I give you Things I Don’t Understand (Perhaps it will be Part I, as there are bound to be more things in the future). Oh, and keep in mind that these will be random. They are in no particular order. Come on now, it’s 3 o’clock in the morning.

Ok…

1. How people can snore so loudly.

2. Why I can’t fall asleep when I hear a person snoring, even in the other room.

3. Why people, especially in LA, suffer from the “false sense of power” syndrome.

4. How I have texted over 1100 messages this month (well, incoming are counted, but still…).

5. How it can be nearly 2009.

6. Why I have been single for almost 27 years.

7. Why I can’t find an awesome Christian man who LOVES the Lord, loves kids, is athletic, is responsible, is respectful and plays the cello (haha, jk…or am I?)… (see, I’m not picky).

8. Why an awesome Christian man who LOVES the Lord, loves kids, is athletic, is responsible, is respectful and plays the cello (haha, jk) can’t find me.

9. Why people always compare black people, especially children, to edible items, namely, chocolate.

10. Why people think black people enjoy being compared to edible things, namely chocolate.

11. Why I can spend so much time on the internet.

12. Why I can’t speak another language.

13. Why I’m told, “you’re beautiful” by other girls, gay guys and my parents, but never aforementioned Christian guys.

14. Why it’s so friggin (pardon my language) expensive to fly to Nigeria.

15. Why countries in Africa are always referred to simply as Africa.

16. Why my family is so awesome!

17. Why it’s so expensive for a black girl to get her hair done.

18. Why I’m sometimes still afraid of the dark.

19. How God is so good!

20. Why God is still so good to me!

Phew. There! That’s 20. Now I think I will attempt to go back to sleep. The nightmare is gone and the snoring has stopped.

What are some things you don’t understand?

My friend WOO WOO just got engaged this past weekend. That makes about 180,000 of my friends.

My cousin just got married two Saturdays ago (Sadly, I could not attend). She is the first one of us to have done so.

My close friend got married at the end of July (I could not attend this one either). Of our group of nine, she is the fifth to get married. Oh, but two are dating and two are single. Guess which category I fall under.

A long lost friend just found me on Facebook. Literally right now. She is engaged.

My roommate from uni who is one of my best friends, well, up until last year, we were in the same situation. She had never had a boyfriend and really had never been asked out. But things change and she got married in May.

My best friend from high school is one year older than yours truly. She is married with four children (one being my beautiful goddaughter…oh and the other three are beautiful too).

I have not even had a boyfriend for goodness sakes! I have not even had a proper date. This is not what I imagined my life would be like when I was younger. When I was 7, I knew that I would be married with kids by the age of 25. I knew I would be just like Claire Huxstable.

I’m nearly 27.

So, you can forgive  me if I say that I feel like I am behind. Many and when I say many, I mean MANNNNNY of my friends are at least engaged, if not married, if not mothers. I even torture myself with reading adoption blogs such as this one. This fantastic individual is a year younger than me and a mother of two. So jealous.

Therefore, I see myself as a late bloomer. My married-mother-of-four-best friend and I were talking two night ago and laughed about the fact that her children will be my babysitters. Well, she laughed and I cried. But I guess my sobs could have sounded like chuckles. *SIGH* The good part is that I will have a large pool of babysitters to choose from, which could prove to be handy.

I have almost resigned myself to getting an imaginary boyfriend just like this cunning & brilliant young lady (not cunning and brilliant just for having an imaginary boyfriend, but because… well if you read her blog, you’d know. It’s fantastic!). Obviously it would not be the same imaginary boyfriend because that would be adultery.

But after receiving news, hearing engagement stories, opening wedding invitations and viewing baby pictures, I have to force myself to take a step back and realize that what my friends (you know the ones that try to comfort you and provide reasons to why you are still single? No? Oh, I do.) say may be true. Perhaps I have not allowed myself to be available for a relationship. As many know, I have not been in one place for a long time. I am like a rolling stone (ok, so, I am not exactly like the song, mainly because I am a girl, among other things. But I do wear hats). Plus, and I have heard this many times from different people, I [may] intimidate guys. Sad but true. I do not mean to. I do not even know what I do that intimidates them. I am a nice girl. But apparently I manage to scare them off.

And some say that I have to put myself out there. Like if I find a guy attractive, I should make the first move. Umm… there is just one tiny thing that I am afraid of: rejection. Also, forgive me, but I am a little old fashioned. I feel like a guy should make the move. But I guess if they are intimidated, they won’t, huh?

Oh, and it is kinda… funny(*sigh*) when the only people who are telling you that you are good looking are other girls or gay guys. Appreciated, but I cannot do much with that, can I?

Sometimes I am fine with my single status. Sometimes I am not. But ultimately, I know I must wait. And I am waiting. I am waiting for God’s best. Someone who will do things like this for me. And I know he will be amazing.

But seriously God, must this drag on? How much longer must I wait? hehe…*SIGH*

Anyone know a single guy who is a true Christian and who is hot?

Just joking…ish.

Tell me what category you fall under? Engaged? Married? Kids? Etc.

Last night I had an argument with my roommate and my good friend. We were watching the American Idol results shows (how the heck is Carly gone?!?!?) and somehow the topic of celebrity adoptions came up. For some reason, for the last few weeks I have been so angry every time I read an article about Angelina or Nicole Kidman. Now, we argued about my pet peeve: when articles write such things as, “Angelina Jolie is pregnant with her second child.” What we were fighting discussing was an article about Tom Cruise and Nicole Kidman’s son’s movie debut. Now, I will admit, I either read the article wrong, or read another version, but I was arguing (so passionately) about the fact that the article wrote that Nicole Kidman was expecting her first child. After pulling up an article about this again, I realized that it actually said that “Kidman is pregnant with her first child with hubby singer Keith Urban.” In my opinion, the word with justifies the sentence. It is her first child with Urban.

Nevertheless, my friends argued with me about the fact that the writer was justified by writing that she is pregnant with her first child. Perhaps it’s just semantics because they emphasized the word pregnant. Sure she (Kidman) has two children but has never been pregnant. Still I compare this to articles written about pregnant individuals who have never adopted. Writers will write that she is pregnant with her second child and we emphasize the “second child” part and never even comment on the fact this the second time that she has been pregnant. Who cares right?

Again, I think that this is discrimination towards adoptees and their parents. When you disregard the number of children an individual has and focus on her “second pregnancy” it sends the message that the other children are Plan B. It makes it seem like they are worth less than their “biologically born” siblings.

In my opinion, if they must have a sentence that includes the word “pregnant” and the number of children the star has, perhaps it should read like this:

“Pregnant, Angelina is expecting her fifth child.”

I don’t know. Perhaps I am too passionate about this. Perhaps I am making too big of a deal about it. But I’m not going to change. I don’t want my children to be treated differently (when I have them).

Why should adoption always be passively disregarded?

And I think this girl is incredible. I have never seen Star Wars, but I think I understand it because of her. Watch her on her own first and then watch her explain with clips. It’s awesome!

[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EBM854BTGL0&hl=en]

[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MVyNnyLbcXM&hl=en]

“But don’t talk back to Darth Vader. He’ll get ya…”

[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wgrrQwLdME8&hl=en]

It’s only a matter of time before he is really able to play the guitar. I believe this little one will be on TV someday!

It makes my day every time I watch it.