This post is about something different than the last ones. There is more to life than working out after all. This post concerns something else on my radar.
My lack of love life.
Yep. I have been single for 10,291 days (10,292 at the end of this day).
That’s 28 years, 2 months, 3 days (4 days at the end of this day).
Ok, I know that the first years of my life don’t count, but it makes it more dramatic, no?
It’s funny because so many people tell me, “oh, it’s because you’re picky.” But I think one has to have people approaching or asking one out to be picky. Basically, you have to have people interested in you to say no to. I do not have that.
And I am doing the online dating thing… well attempting it, but nothing so far. It kinda feels like if I can’t even do it right online, do I even have any hope??
Ok, before this turns into a “woe is me” (before??), let’s just get to the reason for my post. It was because of this post and this post. I loved them both. In regards to the first link, I literally could not have said it better myself. Jummy wrote this about herself, but I could have very well dictated it to her. It’s exactly what I think about often. This is the part that got me thinking the most:
I hope my time will come, I think it will, but every now and then I wonder. I also greedily wonder whether my “story” will be one that I’ll share with excitement, and get shivers reliving. Then I wonder if, as I get older, I should give up lower my expectations on some of the more romantic elements of a relationship and focus on compromising with someone who I care about and who cares about me. Maybe that’s part of growing up.
I do not want to compromise, but I get scared and think that I may have to. That I may have to settle for Mr. Good Enough. I feel that I already do that often in life. That I settle for something that I like, but not love. With something that is ok, and not the best. With things that will be fine, but not amazing. I fear that I will do that with my love life. I know I won’t do it, but I fear that I may.
Does that make sense?
And I am romantic person. Most people do not know this about me, but I am. I dream of someone who will look at me with eyes of such love that I can feel it from across the room. I pray for someone who will call me in the middle of the day just because he wants to hear my voice. And who will not be annoyed when I call him just to say hi and tell him about something funny I just saw. I want someone who loves me like Ragamuffin Soul and Whittaker Woman love each other. Look at this.
I want to be married to the love of my life. Is that too much to ask?
Sometimes what I want seems like it is a lot to ask. I don’t know. I don’t think it is, but as I get older, I’m afraid that my chances are slipping away. I feel myself losing hope.
But then I remember to turn to prayer. With that I try to clear my head and remember Psalm 37:4.
Sometimes it’s hard though.
I was looking at my stats today and although, in reality, stats should not affect my blogging self-esteem, I realize that I am the maker of my own stats. And my BSE (that’s an acronym for blogging self esteem) is loooooooow. And it is all due to my lack of good/consistent entries that my stats suffer so. I need a blogging plan.