And All Other Things

I never intended for yesterday’s post to be selfish and insensitive. I hope you did not construe it as such. And if you did, I apologize.

Nigeria. A country of battles. When people think of devastation by humans in the continent of Africa, they think of Darfur or the Sudan. But everybody tends to forget Nigeria. The country for which Doctors Without Borders was created — in the darkness of The Biafran War.

When faced with the news of the most recent horrible evil in the country, I was struck by three things:

1. One reason that explains this fighting.

2. How blessed we all are.

3. How powerful God is in the country.

1. Simply, the name should show one the arbitrariness of the country. Niger-ia = Niger Area. A name chosen by the Europeans after drawing arbitrary lines, pushing a whole bunch of people into it – regardless of ethnicity, religion and language – and labeling it a country. This is not to say that before colonization, there was no fighting, but the different tribes, people groups, language groups, etc., knew where they were, what they owned, which land was theirs and what they are fighting for. Throwing a bunch of people together and calling them a country, because they happen to look alike, does not make it so. And these years of unrest throughout the entire continent has proven this.

But, this is not to say that the people should not rise above it. And I’m praying every day that the new generation of Africans as a whole can change. Both those living at home and abroad. Because the whole continent (and yes, I am going to generalize) is destroying itself. Fighting themselves today, instead of finding a way to work together to become what they can tomorrow – one of the greatest, richest, most powerful countries in the world. Yes, in the world! We have so much in natural resources alone. It is disheartening.

2. We in this North America can complain about anything we want, but to see how blessed we all are, we must look to what is happening in the other parts of the world. If we compare ourselves… well, we really cannot. Period. I work with parents, teens, children. I am a sister to foster siblings. I have known so many capable people that are limit themselves by blaming others, finding excuses, never taking responsibility for their own lives. I will never disregard a person’s past. Yes, things that happen have an effect of people. Obviously. But when an individual is surrounded by people who are trying to help them, when they have so many resources to choose from, when they are given many opportunities and instead of utilizing it, they sit back and say, “life is not fair” “you don’t know what I’ve gone through” “It’s my dad’s fault” “It’s my mom’s fault” — I can’t stand it.

Yes, I will give you time and help you with your healing. It may not be easy. But, as a person and as a counsellor, I look for someone who will help themselves. Because like I said before, we are blessed. Life is NOT fair, but at least we’re alive.

Comparing yourself to others should do two things: show you what you can achieve and show you how blessed you are.

(The preceding was basically a rant. Perhaps it didn’t make a whole lotta sense, but you know what I mean).

3. Where God is the most present, Satan will insert himself. Where God is the most powerful, Satan comes to destroy. Nigeria is a country that loves God. I think Nigerians are born prayer warriors. That’s a big reason there is so much devastation. Satan does not appreciate the love for God. Basically, if one is a true Christian and is living the way a true Christian should live, there is one thing for sure: Satan will attack. Because it’s not only a physical war, it’s a spiritual war. What is our job as Christians inside of and outside of Nigeria? To remain strong. How? Put on the whole armour of God. Ephesians 6:10-18.

¹⁰Finally, be strong in the Lord and in his mighty power. ¹¹Put on the full armor of God so that you can take your stand against the devil’s schemes. ¹²For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms. ¹³Therefore put on the full armor of God, so that when the day of evil comes, you may be able to stand your ground, and after you have done everything, to stand. ¹⁴Stand firm then, with the belt of truth buckled around your waist, with the breastplate of righteousness in place, ¹⁵and with your feet fitted with the readiness that comes from the gospel of peace. ¹⁶In addition to all this, take up the shield of faith, with which you can extinguish all the flaming arrows of the evil one. ¹⁷Take the helmet of salvation and the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God. ¹⁸And pray in the Spirit on all occasions with all kinds of prayers and requests. With this in mind, be alert and always keep on praying for all the saints.

Let us all continue to pray.

I rarely get sick. But when I do, I hurt.

For the last few days, I have been suffering from a major toothache. I have never EVER hurt as badly as this. And I believe I have a high pain tolerance.

It was somewhat an emergency and I called the dentist to see if he could squeeze me in. They managed to, although it would simply be for an x-ray and prescription. I was thankful for anything.

They saw me, told me that it was most likely a cavity (and before you tsk tsk me, I have all my wisdom teeth and apparently the grooves in my teeth are very deep, too deep for the tooth brush to reach. The pain is in the farthest tooth on the top right) and also that it was probably being bothered by my extra tooth.

That’s right, I have an extra tooth in the very back of my mouth. One more than most people. For a while, this tooth was below the surface, but just recently, at the end of 2008, it grew. The doctor kept on telling me how lucky I am.

He was referring to the crazy extra tooth, but looking deeper, I realize how “lucky” I truly am.

• I have teeth. And even an extra tooth. Furthermore, I have the capacity to take care of my teeth, via a dentist. Many people do not have that.
• When I am in pain, although I do not like taking medication, I have the opportunity to have be prescribed something and have that prescription filled (this particular time, antibiotics and Tylenol 3s).
• I feel pain. I know I’m alive.
• When I’m feeling this pain and can’t function, I have a bed and pillow to rest my head.

I can go on and on and on. I am truly blessed.

God never said we would never feel pain. But He does provide healing.

Love this quote –> Life hurts. God heals.

Ok, I realize that this post may not be my best, or even coherent, but remember, the Tylenol 3s?

‘Nough said.

The problem of pain is atheism’s most potent weapon against the Christian faith.

C.S. Lewis

Try to exclude the possibility of suffering which the order of nature

and existence of free-wills involve,

and you find that you have excluded life itself.

The Problem of Pain – C.S. Lewis

…love what I do, not only do what I love.

…stop doubting myself.

…prove those who doubt me wrong.

…succeed.

…put myself in the position to better help my family – immediate and extended.

…pay my debts.

…buy a house.

…stop procrastinating.

…stop self sabotaging.

…get into better shape.

…start a charity.

…be an entrepreneur and work for myself.

…trust in God.

(not necessarily in that order)

Delight yourself in the LORD
and he will give you the desires of your heart.

Psalm 37:4

I discovered the Mars Hill Church iPhone app through this beautiful lady’s tweet. I downloaded it and so far love it. I had heard of the church before, but this was the first time I got to hear the teaching/preaching.

I started with the series on Luke, entitled “Luke’s Gospel: Investigating the Man Who Is God.” I loved, loved, LOVED the first episode, but at the end of it, I just so happened to scroll down and saw a series called, “Redeeming Ruth.” Of course, I then started listening to that one, me being Ruth and all (don’t worry, I’ll will definitely go back to the Luke series and you should too).

One part that struck me in the episode was the descriptions of Ruth and Orpah, Naomi’s daughters in law. Both were ready to leave their native Moab and travel back to Bethleham with Naomi. Leaving their families and all that was familiar to them. But after just a little bit of prodding, one decided to turn back and return to her homeland. Orpah.

One cannot really blame her. Although she married a Jewish man, she was living in her hometown, where she felt safe and secure. Essentially, where everybody knew her name. She probably proclaimed her love for God with her lips, but at the first sign of “freedom” she took it, abandoning Him and her new family and fleeing back home to what she knew. Fleeing back to her gods. She was a pagan pretending to be a Christian (well, before Christ), but abandoning Him when things got difficult.

I don’t judge. Is it not easier to remain where you are comfortable than to step into discomfort? Or what is known as earthly discomfort? What she did is what most of us would do. Right? She is only human.

And then there was Ruth. She obviously took her vow to God very seriously. She abandoned all that was familiar to her, to accompany her mother in law – not her birth mother, but her mother by marriage – to her hometown. She would know nobody. She would be alone with this older woman with no other people to call friends. And if that wasn’t enough, she vowed to Naomi, that she would take her people as her own and take her God as her own. That is amazing. Unlike Abraham, God never spoke directly to Ruth (thanks Pastor Mark) so she was ready to accept God by pure faith. Which one of us can say that we would do that?

The bible says that we are to drop everything and follow Jesus. But how many times do we make excuses for not following Him wholeheartedly? Without reservation. It’s our human nature.

And I know I will stumble. Many more times in my life. But God is there to help me stand and the Bible is there to support my walk.

I strive to be more like Ruth.

In more than name.

I’m not going to lie. It’s gonna be tough.

But Ruth replied, “Don’t urge me to leave you

or to turn back from you. Where you go I will go,

and where you stay I will stay. Your people

will be my people and your God my God.

ruth 1:16

You know the drill. Especially in the movies. Someone wants something. Or wants to know something. And they will ask God to give them a sign. A sign that they are doing the right thing, making the right decision, or even a sign that He, God, exists.

I am getting baptized this Sunday (January 24). People are quite surprised that I have not been baptized yet. I have no real good excuse, but the one thing that stopped me in my teen years, especially, was the feeling that I had to be perfect before I did it. And I know (and knew) that perfection is not possible and only Jesus is perfect. But my human brain cringed at the thought of being baptized and then disappointing people and God when I did something wrong. I grew out of that phase though. God says come as you are… well not in those exact words, but He did say that He came for the sick and the sinners; not the heathly and the righteous. He told Levi/Matthew, the tax collect to follow Him. He didn’t say, “Yeah, I want you to follow me. But please get better before you do.” And I am grateful for that. That God accepts me as I am because God knows that I am…imperfect.

I have been a Christian my whole life, but my faith is not always the strongest. I would be lying if I said it was. But, I can say that it is hard for me to deny God if only for the signs He has shown me in my lifetime. Many times, and one time very recently, I have been discussing with a friend and he or she will ask me about my faith. They ask me how I know that Jesus exists. How can I be certain? I say because He has made it very hard for me not to see Him. He’s kinda like a kid, sitting behind you kicking your chair. If you don’t turn around, you don’t see him, but you know he’s there. There have been so many – yes I will use the word again – signs. And I’m not talking about the sheer perfection of creation – you know like the grass and animals and flowers and stuff – which is cool in itself. About about blatant punching me in the face with His awesomeness.

My parents survival in the country is riddled with God signs.

The fact that my first brother is alive and not mentally or physically disabled is a God sign.

The fact that I’m alive and not dead due to cult sacrifice is definitely a God sign (yep you read correctly. Wanna hear about this story?)

Jesus has shown Himself to me many times and in many ways. And although I have always followed Him, it’s high time to take the step and join the Body as He so commanded.

¹³Once again Jesus went out beside

the lake. A large crowd came to him,

and he began to teach them. ¹

⁴As he walked along, he saw Levi son

of Alphaeus sitting at the tax collector’s

booth. “Follow me,” Jesus told him,

and Levi got up and followed him.

¹⁵While Jesus was having dinner at

Levi’s house, many tax collectors and

“sinners” were eating with him and

his disciples, for there were many who

followed him. ¹⁶When the teachers of

the law who were Pharisees saw

him eating with the “sinners” and tax

collectors, they asked his disciples:

“Why does he eat with tax collectors

and ’sinners’?” ¹⁷On hearing this, Jesus

said to them, “It is not the healthy

who need a doctor, but the sick.

I have not come to call the righteous,

but sinners.”

mark 2:13-17

I found the following video on Carlos Whittaker’s blog.

He was filming the EPK for his new record.

What happened was amazing.

But then again everything is amazing with God.

(Quoted from Carlos’ blog)

If you listen carefully at the end you hear me saying this to Danny.
“Keep trying to make it man.”
He looked me square in the eye…cocked his head sideways with a confused look on his face…and said,
“Trying to make it? No man. I ain’t trying to make it…I’m making it. Jah puts His soldiers everywhere. Jah says, Yea though you walk through the valley of the shadow of death… So He places some of us, in that valley.”

He is the God of second chances.

He is the God of mercy.

Of our salvation.

God is.

My cousin showed me this site one day. Long short: it is a blog following a woman’s journey to finding a husband in one year. 52 weeks.

Neenah is her name and she is 43. See, I am 27. I think that is long enough to wait, but I really have nothing on her.

On the other hand, I was talking with this guy one day and we were discussing comparisons. In this case, it was comparing how tired one person is to another. For instance, there are two people. Let us say, Person A is tired from work and the Person B is tired because he/she has a newborn. It always happens that Person A will say, “Man, I’m tired,” but then quickly withdraw this announcement, turning to Person B and stating, “I can’t complain. You’re the one with the baby.”

But she can complain, can she not? Yes! In my opinon, she can. Just because she does not have a baby it does not mean that she is not tired. Right? It’s all relative. Correct?

So, just because I am not 43 years old it does not mean I am not tired…. or impatient. ‘Cause I am.

But I digress.

Miss Neenah came up with a really cool idea and I wish her all the best and all of God’s blessings and all of that. In essence, I hope she finds a husband this year. And this hope is purely out of selfish reasons…. well, not purely, I am not that bad…. just partially out of selfish reasons.

For one, I do not want her to have to take off a complete year from pursuing relationships (although EVERYBODY says relationships surface when you are not looking and when you least expect it…blah!). I would not want to have to do that, so why would I wish it on another? I want her to find her man in the near future. Miss Neenah’s quest is like mine in that she is not looking for just any guy. She is looking for a Christian man, who is a attractive (to her) and “clever, witty, street-smart, nice to his mother, doesn’t sweat the small stuff, prays every day and doesn’t mind asking for help.” He also has to “look for opportunities to laugh and be a little silly” and he needs to be “someone who is ready to pursue a commited relationship.” Hmmm…. sounds wildly familiar. So the selfishness parts comes in the way that if she finds a man soon, it gives me more hope.

Yeah, I know that her search has nothing to do with mine, but if it happens for her I cannot help but be encouraged that it can happen for me too. That I can find a nice, goodlooking Christian man. One day. If it does not happen for her, then… dont.want.to.think.about.it.

No offence, though… I do NOT want to have to wait until I am 43… or even 33 for that matter.

Just waiting on God.

Patiently. Impatiently. Pati

Just waiting.

Sigh.

Diamond is completing a 30 Days of Thankfulness series on her blog. I have A LOT to be thankful for, but I am not going to do a 30 day series. At least not now.

Right now, I am  working an overnight shift at a group home (midnight to 8am) and just working here makes me see how thankful I must be. Interacting with these children is so depressing. Not only because they lie, swear, do drugs, smoke, drink, sleep around; but because they think that this behaviour is normal. These children have never been able to be children. They grow up thinking that this anger and sadness is normal. It makes me sad.

I was inspired to write what I am thankful for today.

I am thankful…

…that I grew up in a home with no alcohol. My parents were never drunk.

…that I grew up in a home without swearing. My parents never swore at me.

…that I grew up with parents who said, “I love you.” I never had to wonder.

…that I grew up knowing I was loved. I never had to look for love from men.

…that I grew up knowing the sacredness of sex. I never had to give it away.

…that I grew up in a home without cigarettes. My parents never smoked.

…that I grew up in a home without drugs. My parents were never high.

…that I grew up in a home with rules. I was never out on the streets alone.

…that I grew up in a two parent home. I have always known my parents.

…that I grew up in a home with discipline. I was steered in the right direction.

…that I grew up in a home without abuse. I never suffered physically, mentally, sexually or verbally.

…that I grew up with sometimes nosy parents. I was never neglected.

My work here is depressing, not because the kids are difficult to control, but because I feel for them. Although we try to guide them to make the right choices, who can really blame them when all they know has been wrong?

I pray for these kids. I pray that they may see a glimpse of what their lives could be and follow it.

Meanwhile, I am thankful for my life.

…of my birth.

27th to be exact.

Man, I’m old.

And God is good!

No matter how many rants I have, God has been so good to me. He has blessed me beyond belief and I am so fortunate to know Him.

Jesus rocks man!

And I cannot wait to see what is in store for me for this coming year.

Happy birthday to me.

***Yes, I know. Not a baby picture. But the closest I could find at this time. ***

Well, I just woke up from a nightmare and now I can’t sleep. So I decided that it was a fantastic opportunity to blog. So I give you Things I Don’t Understand (Perhaps it will be Part I, as there are bound to be more things in the future). Oh, and keep in mind that these will be random. They are in no particular order. Come on now, it’s 3 o’clock in the morning.

Ok…

1. How people can snore so loudly.

2. Why I can’t fall asleep when I hear a person snoring, even in the other room.

3. Why people, especially in LA, suffer from the “false sense of power” syndrome.

4. How I have texted over 1100 messages this month (well, incoming are counted, but still…).

5. How it can be nearly 2009.

6. Why I have been single for almost 27 years.

7. Why I can’t find an awesome Christian man who LOVES the Lord, loves kids, is athletic, is responsible, is respectful and plays the cello (haha, jk…or am I?)… (see, I’m not picky).

8. Why an awesome Christian man who LOVES the Lord, loves kids, is athletic, is responsible, is respectful and plays the cello (haha, jk) can’t find me.

9. Why people always compare black people, especially children, to edible items, namely, chocolate.

10. Why people think black people enjoy being compared to edible things, namely chocolate.

11. Why I can spend so much time on the internet.

12. Why I can’t speak another language.

13. Why I’m told, “you’re beautiful” by other girls, gay guys and my parents, but never aforementioned Christian guys.

14. Why it’s so friggin (pardon my language) expensive to fly to Nigeria.

15. Why countries in Africa are always referred to simply as Africa.

16. Why my family is so awesome!

17. Why it’s so expensive for a black girl to get her hair done.

18. Why I’m sometimes still afraid of the dark.

19. How God is so good!

20. Why God is still so good to me!

Phew. There! That’s 20. Now I think I will attempt to go back to sleep. The nightmare is gone and the snoring has stopped.

What are some things you don’t understand?