And All Other Things

Or shorter and skinnier.

And prettier.

And smarter.

I still remember fighting to be in the gifted section of my grade 4 class.

There were fellow students who were given extra work, like preparing a presentation on a country. I asked to do it too. On Nigeria. That’s the thing. I had to ask.

I have never been the very best at anything. Or the tallest. Or the shortest. Or the skinniest.

Growing up where I did, being different, it was hard.

The major representation of outer beauty did not match my outer beauty.

My skin was darker.

My lips were thicker.

My nose was wider.

My feet were bigger.

My chest was smaller.

My butt was a booty.

Yep, there were (and are) times when I was not happy with myself.

But God blessed me with my mom for a reason.

Because if there is one quote that I can attribute to her, one thing she has repeated throughout the years, it is this:

I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made;
your works are wonderful,
I know that full well.

Psalm 139:14

But she always said it to me like this:

You are fearfully and wonderfully made.

When I remember that and appreciate it, I don’t mind that I’m not taller.

Or skinnier.

Or smarter.

Or prettier.

I am how He made me.

Anybody who knows me knows I want to be an actress and have wanted to be since I can remember (ok, I think I have started many posts with this, but bear with me). Slightly fewer know that I want to own my own business(es) because I cannot see myself working for somebody else forever. Sometimes I feel discouraged and believe my brain tells me to “be serious” or “be real.” Sometimes I feel that I will be stuck doing what I have to and not what I want to. But then I am bombarded with inspiration. Things/People that show me that I must continue with my dreams. ‘Cause I can achieve them. That they are possible. And I think that this year will be the year. 2010. I hope that by September, I will be doing what I want, full time. But meanwhile, here is a list of my current inspirations:

Kelsey Vanderhorst – KV Bijou

Kelsey started her business about a year ago. She quit her job, put her head down and worked on her dream. Where is she today? Making jewelry for the Sundance Film Festival! Ummm… what?! Such a tremendous inspiration.

DJ QPid

This guy is living his dream. Doing what he wants and loving it. The road may not have always been smooth, but he is living his passion. And loving it. The operative phrase.

Bianca Juarez – In the Name of Love

This woman of God combines everything: her love of the Lord and her love for people. She does this and feels honored. But one cannot even begin to imagine how many people she has touched.

Jasmine Star

Randomly she is Bianca’s sister. Twins too. Look at her pictures and you’ll realize that I don’t need to say anymore. She is living her dream. In an industry that people constantly knock. How many times have aspiring photogs been told that “you can’t do that for a living.”??

Dammy Ogunseitan – Reach Magazine

Who says, one day, “I’m going to start my own magazine” and then does it??? Come on! And, this is not his first.

Sandra-Joy Unaegbu – Joyful Photography

Ok, she’s my sister, but she is freaking talented. She has the balls (ooops do I say that? …umm… sorry kids) to pursue what she wants to. Again in the face of opposition. That’s quite more than I have been able to do so far. She hasn’t been a photog for long, but her work looks like she has been doing it for life. Seriously talented. Contact her now because she will get too big for you soon!

Dawn Davis

I love the fact that she gave up her job as an accountant. She gave up her “real” job to do something she loves. I love the “About” section primarily where she says:

I don’t say this to boast, I say this because I believe!  I believe that if I can do this, so can you.  You can live the life you want you just need to believe in yourself, work hard, and move in a positive direction.  Why not DREAM BIG? I do!

(And before anybody tsk tsks me about the newageyness about “believing in myself” she also says she deeply believes in our Lord).

Frankly. I will do what I must. I cannot do what I “have to” for the rest of my life. I will to quit my “real” job. I will do what I want to and what makes me happy. If I find myself doubting, I just remind myself of this list of people. It they can do it.

So can I.

Trust in the LORD
with all your heart
and lean not
on your own understanding;
in all your ways
acknowledge him,
and he will make
your paths straight.

Proverbs 3:5-6

A little late with my entry, but I know you will forgive. Yesterday (well, really two days ago as it is past midnight on Friday and I am referring to Wednesday) was day three of the regime and I was hardcore! After work I hot yogaed it out, followed by some back handsprings and back tucks at gymnastics, followed by shoulder, arms and abs, P90x style. I did not finish until after 1am. I told you… hardcore.

I wish I could see more results faster, but that’s just me. I am impatient when it comes to two things: technology (I HATE SLOW COMPUTERS) and workout results. But I will survive… and maybe even longer since I am working on my fitness.

Today (Thursday) was day four and please forgive me, but all I did was hot yoga and volleyball. I decided to skip the P90x routine because it’s…. yoga. Really, do I need 3 hours of yoga in one day? I don’t think so. Plus, I’m dead tired. So I think Bikram was enough and a good substitute. Right? Anyone?

I don’t think anybody reads this blog, but I will continue to write in the chance that somebody does. And if you do, and you want to join my workout kick, let me know.

Oh and Glee is fabulous!

Day two is complete and it feels good, thus far. I am really making this happen and it is apparently by the fact that I finished working out at about midnight 30. Yep, I worked a full day, then went to acting class, which ends at 10pm and then headed home and worked out. I sacrificed sleep!

So day two was the cardio component. I was not able to do yoga  due to my schedule, but that’s ok. The X will simply do.

What they say about yoga is true though. Bikram’s Yoga has benefitted me all around and it is apparent when I do P90x. I did it pre-yoga and, you know… sometimes I would stop to, you know… breathe. Sometimes I would have to take a break from the continuous torture movement. However, post yoga, I have found myself stronger, more efficient and I can go for longer. This P90x thing is easier for me now. And that’s after inconsistent yoga practice and after a complete two week hiatus. Can you imagine my body on consistency? We’ll see what happens.

Day two. So far so good. Day three of P90x is tonight. After yoga. And after gymnastics. Wish me blessings. And oxygen.

Day one of my new consistent working out regime has occurred. So far so good. I did Bikram Yoga here and then came home and did P90X: Core Synergistics. It felt grrrrrreat.

I need to stay with this. Because I am notorious for being gung ho at the beginning. I will work hardcore for, say… 8 1/2 days, but then I fall away. It is so so easy to fall away. But this time I am pushing myself to go… let’s see… at least 90 days. Can you imagine? 90 days straight. I can do it. Right?

I am working toward a visual goal. You know how I said I cannot even attempt to be the size of Courtney Cox or Angelina, because that’s completely impossible and I wouldn’t want to anyway? Yeah, so I am working more towards Ciara in the Love, Sex, Magic video. Again, our bodies are not the same, but she has the athletic, yet lean look. That is what I’m striving for. Hence the yoga, for the lengthening and leaning.

Anybody wanna try it with me? This workout thing? Wanna do a 90 day workout plan? Keep each other accountable? If you do, comment or write me a message. They say there is strength in numbers.

Only (at least) 89 days to go…

Ok, another thing that I have slacked on is working out. My body is a pretty muscular body and so even if I do not work out, people still say I look like I’m in shape. Let me tell you that I am not.

I’m not trying to be annoying or anything. I am not saying that I fat, but… you know when you know you’re not in the shape you would like to be in? That is what I am feeling right now. I know I can be in better shape. Especially with my chosen profession. Now, don’t worry, I’m not going to go crazy and try to be as thin as say Courtney Cox or Angelina Jolie or anything, because short of some kind of surgery, that would be impossible for my body. But I would like to lengthen and tone. You know, lean myself out.

So, the two birds reference in my title? That refers to getting on top of the constant blog entry and working out everyday thing. Meaning, I can use my journey to a better bod as entries for this thang. So, I have no excuse. For neither writing or working out. I have put it into the blog universe. It’s out there forever! I have no excuse.

Oh yeah, and I am watching what I eat more. Looking at my diet, I have noticed that I love my carbs and sugars. If I cut down on those two things plus workout more often, who knows what that will do?!?

Ok, so my plan: P90X every day and hot yoga as often as I can in the week…heck I’m paying for it. Gotta get my money’s worth.

Has anybody done hot yoga/Bikram’s Yoga? It’s aweome. Even though I haven’t been doing it for long or as often as I like, I see results when I do it. And you know what? I am even planning on starting a site that follows my body on hot yoga. It will be found at My Hot Yoga Body.

Ok, so blog world, please keep me accountable. And I will keep you updated.

We had a guest speaker at our church today… well, let me first address that. We have had a series of guest speakers because our church is going through transition. So much has happened in the last almost two years and to sum it all up, MY DAD IS THE NEW SENIOR PASTOR OF OUR CHURCH!!! That announcement was made a long time ago, but I am a poor poor blogger and so the world does not know yet. But yeah, God has been really good!

But today, the preacher made an impact on me. He began with a disclaimer that he may offend some people. He said that sometimes he is not invited back to churches after he preaches. Perhaps he was kidding, but hearing his message, I would understand that it is possible. He was telling the truth about God and sometimes that offends people. He said that if one is offended, he/she should first stop and reflect to see if it is the Holy Spirit that is offending or if it is him personally. He said that hopefully it is the Holy Spirit.

But the one thing that got me was the part when he left us with with some challenging questions. The first question was: Are you a Practical Atheist. Definition: A person who believes in God but lives their life like it does not matter. That hit my heart. Because I can spew that I love God all year long. All my friends can know that I love God by my words, but how am I really living my life? Why is it, that I can easily not pray in the morning, but will check my facebook first thing? Why is it that my bible remains unread, but my email is read multiple times? I can see how I am a practical atheist. Are you?

And then I saw this video.

What do you think?

It is 4:17am and I am up because my foster brother woke me up. He had a nightmare and was scared and went walking around the house. At first I didn’t know what he was doing, but he was looking for my dad. So, as he was knocking on my parent’s door, I asked him what was wrong. He said he had a bad dream about killing and dying. So instead of waking up my dad, I asked my foster brother if he wanted to pray. He said yes.

I totally got that from my parents. Anytime my siblings or I had a bad dream, we would do as my foster brother did. Seek them out. They would return us to bed and pray with us there. And I can say that I did the same for my foster brother because I had such awesome examples. As soon as I said “Amen,” my foster brother said thank you, rolled over and went to sleep.

Two thoughts went through my head: (1) Thank you Jesus for such fantastic parents. (2) I can’t wait until I am a parent.

What awesome things do you thank your parents for?

What is your song?

I am free! I have had an assignment looming over my head for a while now. Seriously, when you ask the Lord for something, sometimes it just floods in.

I write Sunday school material for a publishing company. Well, I did, 10 years ago, but my dad had been writing over those 10 years. I stopped. But when I was jobless, I requested to write for them again. After a few months, they sent me two lessons to write. Oh, that was at the same time I started my full time job and at the same time had my part time. Needless to say I was over busy and long story short, it took me a while to fulfill my requirement for the two lessons.

I do not stress in the stereotypical way, but I felt the pressure. My life stopped as I tried to finish this assignment. No work outs. No sleep. Long nights in front of the computer. Etc. Etc. Etc.

But I finished today and you do not know how free I feel!!! Just really free. And now I have time for life…well at least a little bit more time.

Plans for this week (the things I was unable to do recently): begin a workout regime, work on a taping for an agent, see friends.

Are you getting enough sleep?